Beyond the fairytale
by emofish
Summary: Hermionie thought she could live happilly ever after with her prince charming, she didn't bank on what happens after the fairy tale.
1. After happilly ever after

A/N: Yeah well this story has been in the pipeline for a while and I haven't been on fanfiction in a while so I'm just trying to get all my stories out there in the next week so I can do my Christmas special.

**Beyond the fairytale**

Have you ever noticed how every fairytale ends with 'and they all lived happily ever after'? The fortunate couple are always beautiful, with lots of money, a big house and servants to wait on them, they disappear into a world of marital bliss never to be seen again. Well I might not have been a princess but he was certainly my prince charming, he came along and swept me off my feet, when I was with him I wasn't nerdy Herminie Granger anymore I was a queen, and he was my king. We had the big wedding they always have in the stories and we rode off into the distance just like we were supposed to but we didn't get our happy ending.

Soon after the ceremony the rows started, it was just petty things, he'd be half an hour late home, I would have plans when he wanted to invite company over for dinner, I wanted to free the house elves, he of course thought the idea was ridiculous. We'd always make up of course, but already just 3 months into our marriage the cracks were starting to show.

It was 5 months later when I was pregnant with our first child when it happened, it was to be the first of many times. He came home late again, I could smell the firewhiskey on his breath, he'd been cavorting with those cheap harlots again I knew it, I could sense it on him, I screamed at him, couldn't he see the child I was carrying? Couldn't he feel the ring on his finger? It was the drink that did it I'm sure, all I remember was one second I was yelling and the next I was on the floor, blood gushing from my mouth, he stared at his hand, as surprised as me, I thought he would stoop, help me to my feet, apologize and swear never to do it again, that's what I wanted, what I needed, and, for a second I was sure he would, but he simply strode over my cowering form and out the door. That night I cried for the first time since my parents had been killed in the war.

It happened again the following evening I had being held up in a meeting at the ministry, but he was convinced I had a man on the side, he even questioned whether the child was his, I swore to him it was, that I had always been faithful, always would be. He wouldn't believe me, however desperately I pleaded, he promised he'd teach me a lesson I would never forget. That night I gave birth to a stillborn son, the house elves whisked him away before I could even say goodbye, I don't even know where the poor soul is buried, he forbade them to tell me, it broke my heart to have my precious child so unlovingly disposed of without ever having experienced the world.

When he entered my bed chamber it was gone 2 in the morning, I lay weeping on the floor, I don't know what I expected, sympathy maybe, grief definitely but he simply chastised me for the loss of his boy, his heir, I yelled at him that this would have never happened if he could have kept his temper. I received the worse beating of my life for it, my face was bloodied and swollen and my stomach and breasts were black, I know it was mostly grief for his lost child, but he was so cold, his face emotionless and once again he calmly left me bleeding.

Suddenly every time I displeased him, a strange look, a wrong word this would be the way he would solve our problems, I began to have to have time off work because of the bruises and soon I lost my job at the ministry. I became a prisoner in my home as he became more and more controlling, stopping me seeing Ron and Harry whom he had always seen as a threat. I sat at home day after day, not allowed to do the work of the house elves but not permitted to leave my prison.

At first my friends would still call for me, leave me messages but when I didn't get back to them, unable to make any contact with them at all they soon forgot, soon forgot the friend who had so many times covered their back, so many times fought their corner. It was my invite to Ron and Luna's wedding that forced my hand, I hadn't even known they were dating. He forbade me go of course, but how could I miss the wedding of my one time best friend? Of the man I had once known so intimately, loved so much. I felt a pang of sadness for the loss of the golden trio, I remembered the happy smiling faces of the bride, bridesmaid and 2 guests of honour at my wedding. Those were gone now but I had always kept the photos, as my mother had always told me, it's not the pictures that change only the people in them. I had no-one else to blame for being different though, the few times I had seen Harry and Ron since my union they had still being the happy, cheerful boys I remembered, I was fully all too painfully aware the only one of us who had aged was me.

* * *


	2. The Ideal

**Beyond the fairytale**

I went to the wedding, and paid for it when I got home, but all through the ceremony thoughts buzzed through my head, I looked at Ron and Luna and how blissfully they were in love and wondered if me and Draco had ever being like that, we were happy at one time I supposed but It was so long ago, and, although I thought I had loved him at a time, I realized, too late ithat I had never really known him. I was caught up in the moment, the war was over, the world was free, Ron was with Lavender and Harry and Ginny were engaged, I felt left out, I needed someone to love, someone who would love me. I told the boys this and they assured me that they loved me, I smiled and swore I loved them too, they just didn't understand I wanted to be loved, yes, but I also wanted to feel _wanted._ They could never make me feel like that. He came along and suddenly I felt like a _woman_ not just the class bookworm or the best friend of the boy who lived.

He swept me off my feet but now I see, too late that it was not him I was in love with but the ideal of being in love.

Seeing this unfold in front of me gave me strength, suddenly I had options, I was no longer doomed to a life of misery, beatings and imprisonment, I could get out, I had places to go. Harry had seen the new bruise on my face, immediately dismissed my weak attempt at a story and offered me a place under his roof. My husband was out all the time and the house elves sympathized with me, I knew they would risk even a beating to let me sneak away from their master, or better yet I could free them before I left.

Slipping away was so easy in theory and yet would be so hard in practice, but now with the realization that I would not be leaving a husband I loved, or one who had ever loved me, I understood I would be freeing myself and him from a rotting carcass of a relationship, I left the wedding party with a growing sense of determination.

* * *


	3. Our happy ending?

**Beyond the fairy tale**

We never got our happily ever after, in the fairytales the couple never break up, no-one ever dies in the stories.

The daily prophet carried news of the death of Draco Malfoy the morning after I left. I stood at the counter in Harry's Kitchen reading the story, Avada Kedavra to the head at point blanc range, bottle of firewhiskey at his side and a suicide note in his elegant scrawl on his writing desk. I was no longer naïve enough to believe he had killed himself out of love for me, out of grief for his loss, it was a matter of honour, a Malfoy was never rejected. It chilled my heart, to know that he would rather lose his life than live with the shame, I smiled faintly, he always had been stubborn as a mule, I remembered…. I shook my head violently to clear the images from my head, he was gone, what we had was over, not that we ever had anything worthwhile.

Or so I thought until I got his note, a ministry official brought it round a few days after his death once they were satisfied no foul play was involved, obviously they understood it was intended for me. I glanced at the paper, unsure of what to expect, him condemning me, cursing my name, a matter of fact outline of his wishes. Certainly not I had ever had with him. what I got, just 7 words, words I had never expected to hear from him. Words that meant I had to sit down, words that meant I was forced to reconsider everything I had started to believe over the previous few days.

I didn't go to his funeral, it didn't seem right, but hundreds of others did, most of them had never known him, were simply there out of old family loyalties, I resented that although I know he wouldn't have minded. Crabbe and Goyle were there, I took comfort in that, they were the only two people who had come closest to been a friend to him, they spoke at the service, speaking of their respect for him, it's funny, there was so much respect, but not one person stood up and said they had actually liked him, I could have, whatever had happened between us, we had been happy for a time, we may not have been made for each other in the end, and despite all he did we were friends if nothing else.

I sit here now at his graveside, I come here almost everyday, I don't know what I do, but the time seems to fly past as I sit here, whiling away hours, fingering the carved stone.

_Here lies Draco Malfoy_

_Son of Lucius and Narcissa _

_1982-2010_

That is all he means to the world, the son of Lucius, there is no mention of me of course, I am a mudblood not worthy of a place on the heir's gravestone, but I have a spot on a much more sacred canvas, oneI know will never erode with the crashing rain or howling wind, my husband's heart.

I will never fully know if we had love or not, people always say that you know when you are in love but that's not true, at least not for me. I think we did, but we destroyed for each other, it seems a bitter irony that we could not be together in life but death united us, we may have never fairytale ending and striving for it cost on of us our life, but maybe, someday, we can have at least some small happily ever after.

_I'm Sorry. I will always love you._

A/N: Well I don't really know if this made sense or not but it took me like 2 hours to write all 3 chapters when I really should have being doing science homework so it better please review to let me know what you think, thanks for reading.

Emofish


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